to xy:
knew you were tired.
yet you kept smiling whenever we see each other.
they made me go on. really.
to keep trying.
thank you very much.
Not just for the smiles.
But for the you. In you.

to them:
I feel as if I've cheated them.
no I'm not gentle as they think.

I really tried.


all are nice
and
you super nice to me...



sorry...to rudely remark I'm thinking.
I really was.
Just that I could be less rude.
then maybe you won't feel that way.......

to yan:
you were one of the first people that came to my mind when I was crying.
if you know not how to tell...
it's ok
when you know how,
I listen.
with you.

the clouds are always there.




a part of my nail from my forth toe is coming off.
dumbly I wore a wrapped up shoes the whole day.

I have just stared at the toe.
It looks redder than the other toes.
I tried my very best to walk normally today.
and dance. with all.
I forgot my nail was coming off when we had our many rehearsals.
Because the laughter from them.
makes me smile.


I like them.
I'm just disappointed and frustrated with how I hardly express myself.
is it me? I'm memorising 2 Corinthians 5:17 this week. therefore if anyone is in christ, he is a new creation. the old has gone, the new has come. Truly how does this apply to my life? (my commitment with Aunty LL. how can I memorise without application!)

When I was walking behind them all,
I knew how weird it felt inside. But I didn't know what to do.
alone is not lonely. yet being alone stirs feelings of loneliness?
it made me afraid.
it made me smile alot.
Sometimes I did not even realise I smile alot when I'm afraid.
J once asked me, is this a facade, where I hide the true emotions?

well.
it doesn't really matter whether I smiles alot or not.

Admist the tears,these came:
as long as my relationship is right with the utimate peacemaker,
I make peace with people too.